Mind Over Matter

One thing I’ve experienced as I’ve got more into running is that your mental attitude is so important to your success. As I trained for my first half marathon and increased my distance each week, I didn’t just grow in physical strength but in my belief that I could actually do it. By the time the half marathon arrived, I had no doubt I would finish. In my mind I had already accomplished it. And I did.

And if you can apply mental strength to something as physically demanding as running, you can probably apply it to most things. So why do so many of us struggle with low self esteem?

Maybe it’s because we don’t realise that we have low self esteem. Since I can remember, I’ve been a confident, outgoing person. I was never afraid to speak out, put my opinions across, get involved. I’ve always been a ‘performer’ in some capacity. Basically, I was loud. And from the outside it wouldn’t seem that I had any confidence issues. From the inside I didn’t think I did either.

It was only during my therapy as we meticulously went through my life searching for the cause of my eating disorder that I realised I’d struggled with body image issues for a very long time. I recalled the time I compared the size of my tummy fat rolls to my friend’s when I was just 7, when I made a commitment in year 6 to lose weight by running around the field twice a day, the inferiority I felt around my thinner friends, comments from dance teachers and idiots who think it’s ok to call a 14 year old girl fat. I hadn’t realised how much these things had stuck with me.

I often think about whether I could have prevented my eating disorder from happening. I know that doesn’t bear thinking about really, and even from that darkest of times I’ve learnt so much and grown as a person. But I do wonder: if I had tackled my issues with self confidence, particularly about my body image, earlier on, would things have been different? Could I have used the power of my mind to overcome it before it even started?

I wish I could go back and tell my younger self not to let those little things stack up. I wish I could tell her that she is enough. What I do know is that it took an immense amount of mental strength to get through anorexia, and I’m using that mental strength to grow in confidence every day. My mind is working for me now, rather than against me and it’s seriously changing the way that I see and do things.

Trust me, the mind is so powerful. We have to use it to our advantage. Let it reassure you that you are enough.